


beginnings and endings

by cosmicpoet



Series: komahina week 2018 [6]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Angst, Despair, Hope vs. Despair, M/M, Self-Harm, The Tragedy of Hope's Peak Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 19:10:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16203860
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicpoet/pseuds/cosmicpoet
Summary: What if the Kamukura project had taken place after Hinata had left Hope's Peak Academy? If he'd had time to form a relationship with Komaeda, and then the despair that overtook him took years to fester? What if a domestic life had been ripped from Komaeda?





	beginnings and endings

Komaeda knows that he’s clutching at straws. It’s the final moment, where he’s waiting in terrible anticipation for hope to diminish into nothingness. Despair will take over him. Now, he sits in the solitary moonlight of his bedroom, looking at Kamukura; his hair blows in the wind of the open window, and Komaeda remembers the days when he would be the one to embrace him with accepting arms.

The Ultimate and the Reserve Course student. They bore the brunt of people who didn’t understand, together against the world that Hope’s Peak had crafted, and it was good. Damn, the world was good. Now…Komaeda doesn’t recognise the man at the window.

When Hinata had got the call for Reserve Course alumni to participate in a project, he hadn’t said no. He couldn’t say no. And Komaeda couldn’t stop him; no matter what he said, there would always be the nagging doubt in Hinata’s mind that he wasn’t talented, wasn’t good enough.

Hinata left the house, and Kamukura came home.

Komaeda aches in the softness of hope that shrouds him at a funeral waiting in his future. Simple things, like soft morning kisses and the gentleness of love, all pass him by now. Kamukura is cold to him, only living with him because paying rent is a boring necessity in his life; the wind blows in his hair, but it feels alien to Komaeda.

Perhaps he’s the first to go.

He finds himself sobbing in the moonlight, looking up at the distant stars and praying to burn out; hollowing out his insides when everything feels so terrible that he can’t bear to turn his face upwards and look at the burning stars, already dead. He’s sorry for himself, sorry for Hinata…no, Kamukura, sorry that his life turned out this way.

Then Enoshima comes into their lives, and everything goes to hell.

Pekoyama and Kuzuryu are the first to go. Their obligations and love are twisted like marionette strings, Enoshima playing on everything that could have created hope, until despair twists in their eyes and they fall into her. Just another pawn on her chessboard.

Komaeda doesn’t eat for three days. Kamukura stays away from the house.

When he sees the sweetness in Tsumiki’s eyes fade into blackness, Komaeda decides that he hates Enoshima. He already knew that, but it burns like a desperate fire within him the more he sees his former classmates fall into her schemes. Kamukura stays out late. Komaeda cuts himself.

He spends his twenty-first birthday alone. 

The years ache within him as, one by one, his former friends fall into her plans. He dare not provoke Kamukura for information; he feels so useless. Once, he was the Ultimate Luck, aspiring towards the Ultimate Hope, and Hinata was merely a Reserve Course student. Now, the roles have been reversed, because Kamukura has every talent imaginable, including luck, and Komaeda is nothing. If he can’t be the best at something, then there’s no point bothering.

Then there’s murder. Revolts in the school they used to attend. 

Nanami dies. Komaeda does not cry, because crying means that he still has hope for things to be different; he knows, he _knows_ that life is just destined to be this way. If he’s promised himself to Kamukura, then he has to stand by him, even in times like this. And Nanami is dead. Kamukura acts like he doesn’t know her name.

The world begins to crumble. The news on the television tells of fires in the streets, and Komaeda learns not to question it when Kamukura comes home smelling of gasoline. Enoshima takes tea in the parlour room and Komaeda sticks his fingers to the back of his throat and makes himself throw up. Routine.

More and more of his former classmates fall into despair. He sees their faces on wanted posters, their shadows on the nightly news; murder and mutilation all merging into one. Blood on the TV, blood on the streets, blood on his hands.

Kamukura goes out one night and doesn’t return home for a month. Thirty one cuts on Komaeda’s arm.

The year anniversary of Nanami’s passing comes and goes. He buys flowers. They wilt.

Kamukura holds his hand one night, and Komaeda feels the word _execution_ stick in his throat. It stings to think that he’s giving in so easily, but the physical contact with the man who used to be Hinata draws him in, until he’s being led by the hand into being the piece needed for checkmate.

He stands there, waiting for the Queen to check him. He’s not done yet.

But, when he stares at Enoshima, and sees his former classmates behind him, despair swirling in the milk-water of their eyes, it’s easy enough to just _give in._ Years he’s spent fighting this, pretending that Kamukura isn’t who he truly is, and Komaeda has had enough. He knows that giving into despair will allow him to achieve true hope in the end, and even if that’s a poor excuse for the tiredness in his soul, he’ll take it. He’ll take anything at this point.

And if everyone else, those hopes he admired, has fallen into despair, then there’s nothing stopping him from giving in now. Seeing their eyes, the painlessness in them; the whites and the irises betraying nothing but pure ecstasy at being part of something so meaningful, so despairing…

So he breathes his last breath as Komaeda Nagito, and lets the truth inside Kamukura lead him into Enoshima’s arms. Later, he will cut off his own hand, praying that replacing part of himself with part of her will mean that Kamukura will hold him again. But now, all he can do is breathe in the necessity of the word _checkmate._

This is how the world ends.

_“Hey… Can you hear me…? Are you okay? …You seem pretty out of it. To be honest, I’m also… No, everyone else feels the same, too. Since we suddenly…got put in this weird situation. …Hey, are you listening?”_

**Author's Note:**

> For Day Six of Komahina Week! The prompts are Talent Swap/Clothes Swap, and I thought Talent Swap would be interesting to work with! Please comment :^)
> 
> I WENT TO COPY PASTE THIS FIC INTO THE AO3 BOX AND IT TURNS OUT I THINK I SAVED OVER IT SO I HAD TO REWRITE IT WE DON'T STAN A DUMBASS I'M SORRY THIS VERSION ISN'T AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL AAAAAAA


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